Category: FEU Training Blog

Key Tips from the ‘X-treme Setback Overcomers’!

When we are trying to develop or improve a skill, it’s useful to look to those who make it look easy, and see how they do it. Fortunately, when it comes to dealing with setbacks, the world has some extraordinary examples to learn from.

While all of us have overcome setbacks in our lives, some people take this to the level of an extreme sport. I’ve chosen a few people that inspire me, and have picked the element that stands out to me from each one.

We are all Masters of our own fate

Before Nelson Mandela became the President of South Africa, he spent 27 years, in the prime of his life, in prison. A significant setback by anyone’s standards. In his account of these years in, Long Walk to Freedom, he explains how he was transformed from angry young man to measured statesman.

He talks about the impact the poem, Invictus by William Ernest Henley, had on him. At this time he was in prison doing hard labour, with no freedom or control over anything he did. This poem, including the lines: “I am the master of my fate, I am the Captain of my soul.” helped Mandela understand that regardless of how badly he was treated, no-one could control what he thought, or who he truly was.

He learned about people, including the guards in the prison, and gained incredible insights and wisdom, including an understanding that past wrongs could not be corrected or avenged, but that people had to be led towards changing, to achieve a shared future. What he did next in leading his country through the process of the dissolution of apartheid was incredible, and he is rightly revered for that.

In terms of overcoming setbacks, Mandela recognised that, even when he couldn’t control or change what was happening to him, he could always choose how he responded to it. How he thought and what he did was entirely his responsibility and always remained under his control.

Having that conviction that you are: ‘driving the bus’, ‘paddling your own canoe’, or are ‘master of your own fate’, makes an enormous difference to how you act in your own life. Of course, we can’t control everything that happens in the world around us, but if we accept what we are responsible for and are empowered to decide what we do about it, we instantly remove any perception we may have of ourselves as a helpless victim.

Being true to who you are and what you believe, combined with a recognition of your own responsibility for what action you take, is hugely empowering, and can give you immense motivation to overcome setbacks.

Having a clear purpose is a great motivator

Victor Frankl, was a psychiatrist, neurologist and the creator of Logotherapy a form of existential therapy. Frankl, prior to World War 2 (WW2), was already specialising in working with depression and people at risk of suicide. During WW2 he spent three years as an inmate of a concentration camp. His book, Man’s Search for Meaning is an amazing account of how he used this dreadful experience to observe and learn about what made the difference between the people who did and didn’t survive this horrendous experience.

Frankl learned that an individual’s survival did not depend on how physically fit or able they were. He talks about seeing physically strong individuals getting rapidly sick and weak, then unexpectedly dying, while some physically frail individuals seemed able surprisingly to withstand the cruel hardships.

As he investigated what made the difference, he realised that the people who had a deep and personal purpose fared better. Sometimes this purpose was to see family members or loved ones again, or to finish writing an unfinished book about a subject they were passionate about, or a determination to share their knowledge and experiences with the world. Those who didn’t have something or someone to live for, were far more likely to give up mentally, and then deteriorate physically. He also speaks about how the people who coped had hope and how loss of hope could be quite literally fatal in that environment.

The book is fascinating, and I highly recommend it. What Frankl learned in the concentration camps became the basis of his new therapy, Logotherapy.

In our lives, where most of our challenges and setbacks are not so extreme, the same principals exist. Knowing why you are doing what you are doing, makes it much clearer to you what your priorities are when things go wrong. Having a clear purpose, and trusting that things will work out in a positive way for you ultimately is a great foundation from which to make difficult decisions and to conquer setbacks. Being clear and committed to your ‘purpose’ is a great way to stay creative in how you keep overcoming difficulties.

Setting manageable goals can get you through ‘impossible’ tasks

The story of Joe Simpson and his climbing partner Simon Yates and their disastrous climbing experience in the Andes is captured in the book Touching the Void, written by Joe Simpson. A documentary film was subsequently made of the book.

While climbing together in a particularly remote part of the Andes, Joe slipped and shattered his tibia into his knee joint. In order to get out of this life threatening situation, Simon attempted to lower Joe down the side of the mountain. When this went wrong, Joe was left suspended over the cliff attached to Simon, at night and in a storm, after they miscalculated their descent plan.

The story tells how Simon had to take the horrendous decision to cut the rope and save himself, as both would have perished had he not. Joe then fell down 150 feet, with a shattered leg, frostbitten hands and other injuries. Simon made a search for him the following morning, and assumed he was dead, before heading back to their camp.

The story documents how Joe crawled, in spite of his injuries, five miles over three days, with no food and little water. He tells how overwhelming he knew it would be if he were to think about how far he had to go to survive, so he didn’t consider that. Instead he picked a rock, 10 metres away, and gave himself 20 minutes to reach it. Then he picked another rock, and another 20 minutes, and so on, and so on. He would give himself rewards of a sip of water after achieving enough smaller targets. The account of the expedition in the documentary drama, where both climbers give their accounts, is gruelling, but compelling viewing.

Joe arrived in camp just hours before Simon was about to pack up and leave. He was delirious and exhausted, but alive. His survival is a testament to his exceptional determination and bravery, but he achieved it by focussing on what he could do, and what he could control, and by setting small, achievable goals.

It’s a living example of the Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu’s, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” How many of us just look at the thousand miles and just pull the duvet back up over our heads, instead of taking that first step?

The motivation for Joe Simpson was clear, had he not taken each step he took, he would have died. Most of us are lucky enough not to have that level of motivation hanging over us, but it is still good to remember that when a task is overwhelming, it may be time to break it down to identify that first step. Then just get on with it, without thinking about the whole picture.

Focussing on what you can do may create opportunities you had never imagined

Martine Wright was running a bit late for work on 7 July 2005. The night before, she had been out with friends, celebrating the award of the 2012 Olympics to London. That morning she got a later tube than usual, and sat down opposite one of the London underground bombers. Martine was one of the last people to be rescued that day, having lost 80% of her blood and both her legs. She talks about how she tried to resume her life as it had been prior to the bombing, and how she found there were too many things she couldn’t do the way she’s done them before.

Martine’s response was to start looking for things to do, which she could only do without legs! She decided to take up a new sport, and tried sitting volley ball. She discovered she was good at this, and became a member of the British Sitting Volleyball Team. In 2012 Martine represented her country when she competed in the 2012 Paralympics sitting volley ball team.

Martine has actually said that she considers herself lucky to have been through all she has been through. Representing Great Britain in 2012 meant a great deal to her. In the process of her own recovery she saw and experienced many kindnesses in people, and has since had the opportunity to contribute herself in ways, she most likely would not have done, had she carried on the path she was on prior to the bombing.

In exceptional circumstances, Martine managed to focus on what she could do, and took the opportunities when they came along. Many people would have got stuck at ‘why me’, and, ‘look what I can’t do’, instead, Martine managed to take an inspiringly positive path through this awful experience. Martine gives talks about her experience and has actually said she feels grateful for the doors that have opened for her since.

Whatever happens in our own lives, it is always an option and choice to focus on what has happened, or to focus on what we can still do. Blog 1 on this topic speaks much more on this particular theme.

In summary

These are just some of the many inspiring examples out there, I’m sure you can all think of your own X-treme setback hero’s. While they are all exceptional people, who did exceptional things, how they did it is something we can all learn from, and tap into and use in our own lives.

So remember, when you next hit a setback in your own life:

• You are in control of how you react in any situation
• Be clear about why you are doing what you are doing, and why it matters.
• Set yourself manageable goals
• Focus on what you can do.

So if you find yourself feeling helpless after something has not gone to plan, just go through the list above, and see if you can’t think of something you can do about it!

Focus on the solution not the problem

I used to work with an ex para called John, who’s battle cry in a crisis was: “Let’s focus on the problem, people!” John was an exceptional man. He’d survived a broken back in the services, and was in constant pain. Yet he had forged a whole new, successful career, becoming operations director in a large facilities management company.

The funny thing was though that anyone actually focussing ‘on the problem’ only would have been promptly kicked out of his meeting! What he meant was, let’s focus on what we are going to do about it.

I loved attending meetings with John. He would cut wafflers off mid-sentence, and bring everyone back to what needed to be done, with a stern: “Focus, people!” When problems arose, John was always the man tasked to find the solutions.

Change your mindset

If you think about it, focussing on the problem gives you very limited information, a narrow perspective and no new options. If you talk to someone who is depressed or stuck with one particular problem, they often keep raking through the same issue or event, as if something will spontaneously change if they keep going over it all again and again. Most of us have experienced how this just doesn’t work. As Albert Einstein once said: “You can’t solve the problem using the same thinking that created it in the first place.”

You have to find ways to focus on what you can do. You need to step back and think about the other areas in your life where things are going well, find what is working. I know this is easier said than done, but whenever you feel stuck, ask yourself, are you focussing on the problem, or potential solutions and options?

Some people seem to naturally be able to find this positive perspective. I’ve just spent a lot of time with another amazing man, who is also my father. He recently had a medical crisis, and was told in very clear and certain terms that he was not going to survive. The prognosis was he had days to live.

Don’t dwell, take action

He immediately set his mind to the task of setting his affairs in order. Each day family would come and visit and he would give us all our specific instructions - which newspaper his death notice should be in, who should be personally notified, where all the important papers and documents were, and who should deal with them.

At the same time the family all came to see him, and there was much laughter and reminiscence. Much of the humour was dark and would not have been to everyone’s taste, but the room where he was supposed to be quietly expiring, took on a bit of a party atmosphere.

After a few days, when my father refused to get sicker, the doctors started allowing him to eat again, and restarted his medication. After 10 days, they pronounced that they were ‘confounded’, that he was a ‘magician’, and they moved him to rehab to start him on the long, and still ongoing, journey back to physical fitness.

As I sat down to write this blog, I was struck by the fact that at no time did my father focus on what had gone wrong. I’m sure he experienced huge internal turmoil, perhaps even despair, when he heard and digested the original pronouncement, but then he just accepted it and focussed solely on what he could do, and on what was within his control. He comes from that stoic, war generation that is awesome to witness.

For me, I realised what an amazing master-class I had been given in dealing with setbacks. I started to think about times in my own life where I‘ve overcome much smaller obstacles and realised that things had been resolved when I had focussed on what I could do, what I could change, and what I could control. When problems have remained problems for me, it has because I became stuck, focussing only on the problem, until I either moved on, or something or someone else managed to shake me out of it.

Striving to resolve setbacks is a natural drive, feeling helpless and stuck is a learned response. We are born programmed to focus on getting fed, learning to communicate and walk. No toddler sits on the ground focussing on how hard it is to walk, they just find the necessary carpet, table or toy they need, to pull themselves up on, and have another go.

A flower being overshadowed by a larger plant doesn’t turn it’s attention onto that plant, it keeps it’s photosynthesising sights firmly on the sun, and literally moves heaven and earth to get it back in view. In the world of plants, people like John and my dad are like bamboo, a plant known for it’s ability to blast through concrete in order to get back to the sun.

So next time you experience a setback, remember not to focus on what has happened, but rather look for what you can do about it and then just do it!

IF YOU’RE thinking about improving your life in some way, whether it’s to do with furthering your career or beefing up your social life, you might find a few ‘positive psychology’ tips useful.

Rather than poring over weaknesses and ways to correct them, this approach to self-development aims to discover what’s right in people working on the premise that, if you concentrate on what you’re good at and what you love to do, it’s more likely that you’ll excel and find greater satisfaction.

If you’re a ‘glass half empty sort of person’, bear with me here. Positive psychology doesn’t ignore negative emotions, failures and problems and you don’t have to splash out on a pair of rose coloured spectacles and adopt a Pollyanna persona. Be assured, you can remain your grumpy, sceptical self (it’s probably one of your strengths and greatest pleasures). However, you may need to adopt some mental agility to explore the following areas:

1. Positive focus

For example, when you think you’d like to move jobs, rather than concentrating on the things you dislike about your current job, framing your objectives positively will help clarify what you really want and provide indicators of what to look for in your next position rather than keeping you stuck in the rut of what’s not happening now: “I hate working on weekends”; “My boss is constantly looking over my shoulder”; “I’ll never get promoted,” becomes “I’d like to work on weekdays only”; “I want a position that gives me more autonomy”; “I want to work for an organisation that provides a career path”.

2. The benefits of positive emotions

The achievement of most worthwhile goals doesn’t come at the snap of your fingers. Usually, there are hurdles and unexpected challenges along the way so it makes sense that, when you feel good about your goals, you’ll be much more motivated to achieve them. “Obvious, but there are some things that I have to do to pay my mortgage”, you might say. Good point and true in some cases. But, in my experience, some of what we feel we have to put up with is what we’ve told ourselves and has little basis in reality (self-limiting beliefs, thoughts and feelings in psycho-speak). For example, “I hate my life”, (generalisation); “It’s bound to go wrong” (catastrophising); “He thinks I’m an idiot” (mind reading).

Most people wouldn’t dream of emotionally punching up their friends in this way, but get into the habit of creating and listening to a destructive inner voice that makes them feel bad and doesn’t accurately reflect external circumstances.

Whereas, recognising if you’ve a tendency to let your thoughts negatively spiral, isolating problems and exploring what can be done is more likely to bring you the changes that you’re looking for.

If life has thrown a particularly hard curve ball, it can be difficult to feel good about the current situation. Here it’s important to draw on good feelings from the past and what you imagine it will feel like when you’ve achieved your goals. Once again, it’s about concentrating on the positive rather than the negative. For example: “What gives me energy?” (not “I feel drained”); “What is it that I value most about myself?” (not “I’ve got so many weakness”) and “What inspires me? (not “I’m so bored”).

3. Identifying strengths

People often focus on what they can’t do and ignore what they are naturally good at. Of course, it’s sensible and interesting to continue to learn new skills, but none of us can be all things to all people so it’s equally sensible to play to and develop our strengths.

If you need help with defining or re-assessing your strengths, you might want to ask some colleagues or friends how they perceive you. You’ll probably be surprised and rather pleased at what they say. If you’re not, maybe think about changing your colleagues or friends as they’re obviously an awful lot who should be given a wide birth!

Also, you might want to take this psychometric test (Brief Strengths Test) from the University of Pennsylvania. Basically, it’ll come up with your top strengths in order. No strength is better or worse than another but the idea is that, if you are aware of your strengths and value them (rather, as many people do, take them for granted and wish for others), you can build on what you’ve got to become even better at what you do and/or more content with your life choices.

In the past, I’ve scoffed at this sort of thing but in the spirit of open mindedness, I tutted and muttered darkly through it. From the results, I immediately fell into the above trap of dissing what the test turned up as my strengths. I had imagined things like creativity and initiative would be top of the list. But, to my consternation, these were outstripped by honesty, social intelligence and an appreciation for beauty: “Oh, how tame and superficial,” I generalised. “My life is a sham and I’ve obviously missed my vocation as some Gucci-clad vicar”, I catastrophised. (No offense to Gucci-clad vicars, it’s just the first thing that sprang into my mind).

On reflection though and taking a tip from above, these strengths (as we’re now calling them) do in fact play an important role in my life. Also, on further analysis, I do play to them, e.g., my clients tell me they value my approach that seeks to make things easy for them rather than bamboozle. And, I aleady work to such themes as you’ll see in the messages throughout my website.

It may be coincidence and the results haven’t converted me to a psychometric test believer. But, in this instance, it made sense and served as a refreshing reminder of what I value leading to more positive focus and emotions. Try it…you might find it useful. It’s certainly fun discussing it with your mates.

Crucially, no longer do I need to feel guilty about my proclivity for expensive shoes. After all, an appreciation for beauty is one of my key strengths and must be observed as a vital cornerstone of my future development.

The previous blog focused on a particularly difficult period of my professional life. Basically, I desperately needed to jump start my career but, despite intensive marketing, I just couldn’t get a break. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, I was commissioned to write an article, which boosted my credibility and led to a series of new contracts that dramatically changed my fortunes.

One could say the phone call was a piece of luck. But in reality, it was the consequence of being amiable, professional and open-minded to new opportunities. That phone call was the indirect result of a connection I had made 15 years earlier. What’s more, there was no forethought, no intention and no logical thought process. The same is true of another defining episode in my professional life.

Way back in 1991, before I became a freelance journalist, I was a software salesman. The job paid well but I was disillusioned with the corporate world. One evening after work, while enjoying a pint in my local pub, I was chatting to a friend who taught business at the nearby college. I told Andy about my job dissatisfaction and my desire to inject some variety into my life. He suggested that I gave a talk to his students.

My first impulse was to decline. I’d never taught before and wouldn’t know what to say. Andy quickly put my mind at rest. “You’ve got a business degree,” he said, “and you’ve spent five years in the real-world of business. My students will be fascinated.” Maybe it was the beer talking, but the next word out of my mouth was “OK.” Andy was right: the students were indeed a very receptive audience and, although I earned nothing, I enjoyed it greatly.

Two years later, I’d quit my sales job and become a freelance journalist. I enjoyed the freedom of not having a boss and it was a major relief to say goodbye to the endless commuting and ever-growing sales targets. But I was struggling financially. My income was extremely variable and I needed some predictability. In September 1993, I bumped into Andy and he told me that a colleague desperately needed someone to teach a 24-week course: the economics of the construction industry.

I had never taught a whole course before, and I knew absolutely nothing about the construction industry. But, because I had enjoyed my first teaching experience and I needed the money, I immediately said “yes”. I spent the next week devouring text books and consulting Andy for guidance, and then nervously delivered my first class to a sea of semi-bemused faces. It took a while to get the hang of teaching, but I persevered and by the Christmas break, the students were engaged and I considered myself a reasonably competent teacher.

The college asked me to deliver the course again in the following year and I gladly accepted. But in 1995, the freelancing side of my career was monopolising my time and so I declined subsequent offers of teaching. Five years later, however, I was once again becoming jaded.

One of the problems with specialising in a particular niche is that it can become tedious. In 1999 and 2000, following the phone call from the Daily Telegraph, I secured lots of corporate writing work from IT companies that were eager to capitalise on what became known as the ‘dotcom boom.’ This became my specialism and for the next eighteen months, I worked pretty much non-stop. While this was good for my bank balance, it became rather boring to repeat essentially the same ‘message’ over and over. Also, although I loved being a freelance and working from my home office in deepest Wiltshire, there were times when the isolation was too much. I wondered how I could meet like-minded people, so in late-2000 I joined the National Union of Journalists and attended the local branch meetings.

Once a month, always on a gloomy Tuesday night, the same five faces gathered around dark pints of Arkell’s ale and lamented the slow death of our noble profession. It was at one of these meetings that Pete, a former newspaper photographer and a lecturer at Cardiff University asked me: “You do business journalism, don’t you?” Before I could confirm, he said: “You fancy doing some teaching?”

The timing of Pete’s questions was perfect. I needed a new challenge and, like my chat with Andy in 1991, this was another example of the ‘Law of Unintended Consequences’. My simple desire for a couple of pints had inadvertently pushed me toward an open door that I didn’t even know existed. I had no latent desire to switch careers. I just happened to be in the right pub, sitting next to the right person, at the right time, and in a receptive mood.

On Pete’s instruction I met the course co-ordinator, told her about my previous teaching experience, sorted out a lecture plan, signed contracts and gave my first lecture a few weeks later. I took the train from Swindon to Cardiff once a week, and with every trip I fell deeper in love with teaching. In the next academic year, I volunteered to teach a second module and before I knew it, I’d become indispensible. In September 2003, a full-time position became available. I got the job, quit freelancing and I felt I’d found my vocation.

In retrospect, it’s clear that my teaching career would never have happened if I had not said ‘yes’ at two crucial moments. What’s more, on both occasions, I agreed to do something I’d never done before (although I was confident that I could pull it off – in theory at least). A path appeared that would take me out of my comfort zone, and I took it. And again, in much the same way that my random encounters with Michael in the previous blog transformed my freelancing prospects, meeting Andy and Pete at fortuitous moments helped launch a new career without any planning on my part. Whether you want to call luck, fate or coincidence, I strongly recommend saying “yes” whenever opportunity knocks unexpectedly.

So, how do we make our own luck? Perhaps the best way to illustrate this is through personal experience: In mid-1997 I had been a self-employed journalist and PR consultant for five years but I needed a break. Thankfully, I’d made enough money to take a year out and I spent twelve months travelling, reading and thinking. Halfway through my sabbatical, I met a wonderful woman, we fell in love and at the beginning of 1999, we decided to buy a house and get married.

With my new responsibilities, I had to start earning again but in May 1999, two months after buying our home, I was broke and extremely worried. The wedding was just three months away but I couldn’t even afford to buy my fiancé an engagement ring. I had thrown every remaining penny of my savings into the house and was earning just enough to pay my share of the mortgage.

I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong. I had a degree in business, I had read loads of business self-help books, and my specialism – the IT industry - was booming. Since the beginning of 1997, I’d built a database of some 700 companies, found the marketing managers’ names and was methodically phoning each one with the goal of securing corporate writing commissions. After making contact with the 300^th, and gaining nothing more than vague promises that they’d call me if they needed my services, I swallowed my freelancing pride and applied for a job as a PR director at a London agency.

Three people were interviewed and I was the only one to be invited back. It was clear that the boss had already made his decision and we were soon discussing strategy, salary and contract. After an hour, the boss detected an air of doubt: “What have you got to lose?” he asked with a smile. I answered with surprising honesty: “I would lose the view of the Marlborough Downs from my home office. I’d miss taking the dog for a walk at lunchtime. And I’d really miss the freedom to work how and when I like.”

I dreaded the idea of having a boss and commuting three hours a day but financial necessity and my impending married life seemed to be forcing my hand. However, after teetering on the edge, I found that I just couldn’t do it. To the amazement of the boss, I talked myself out of the job and drove home in a cold sweat.

Despite feeling intense panic, this was actually the first step in making my own luck. While I wasn’t sure exactly how I was going to get out of this hole, I listened to my guts and choose not to do something out of desperation but to find another way. But how would I explain this to my fiancé? I slumped into my office chair, gazed blankly at the dark clouds creeping over the Downs and sighed. From the corner of my eye, I noticed the red light flashing on my answering machine. Maybe one of the 300 marketing managers had called me back? Maybe my luck had finally changed?

The message played and my heart jumped to the ceiling. It was the special supplements editor of the Daily Telegraph and he wanted me to write an article. What luck! Or was it?

Admittedly it was perfect timing but, as it turned out, it wasn’t pure luck but the result of something that actually started 15 years earlier, way back in 1984, when I was an undergraduate doing a six-month internship at IBM in Bristol.

My job was at the lower end of the sales food chain and mostly involved stuffing envelopes with brochures and invitations to seminars. Even so, the senior staff were friendly and supportive and invited the humble interns to social events. Although I only spoke to him once or twice, I was particularly intrigued by one of the sales managers, primarily because of his vibrant red braces and his booming ‘Good morning!’ whenever he entered the office.

Ten years later, in 1994, I was working at a client’s office on a freelance commission when in walked in Mr Red Braces (Michael). I stood up and re-introduced myself to him. I didn’t want or need anything from him but this seemingly small move initiated a close professional relationship that lead to a series of commissions and new introductions to others who would commission me. The phone call from the Telegraph editor in 1999 might appear to have been ‘lucky’, but it was a consequence of reconnecting with Michael five years earlier. He had recommended me to another person who subsequently, recommended me to the Telegraph.

I wrote the Telegraph article in double-quick time and then started hammering the phones. The effort of making 300 hundred calls previously and building a database now meant that all these contacts were to hand and I could introduce myself as PR and journalist who wrote for the best-selling broadsheet in the UK. This underlined my credibility and within a few months, other editors were commissioning me to write articles, marketing managers were offering me lucrative corporate work and a month before the wedding, I bought my fiancé an engagement ring.

It is clearly difficult to convert this tale into a formula for success, but looking back at this chain of events, a few truths stand out:

•  You can’t control everything but taking initiative to do what you can will have a positive cumulative effect – possibly when you least expect it.
• Some decisions can be down right scary. However, before accepting solutions that seem to be the answer to a short-term problem, weigh up your options to consider what you really want now and where you want to be in the future – you may find that short-term discomfort is worth it if it keeps you on your chosen path.
• Being professional, amiable and willing to keep in touch with people is important. I suppose ‘networking’ would be the formal term but I think of it as taking an interest in people and what’s going on in the industry. Also, if you only contact people when you want something, it can be really off-putting for them.
• Don’t assess someone’s worth by their current seniority or by what you think they can do for you now. People change jobs, get promoted and shift careers. If you have made a positive impression on them in the past, you never know if and when they might recommend you to a third party or do you unexpected good turn.

In my next blog, I’ll talk more on accentuating your good luck by saying yes to the unknown.

Napoleon Bonaparte is widely recognised as a military genius but in recent years, he has become a role model for people who are intent on getting rich and building corporate empires. To authors of business self-help books, Napoleon offers plenty of material: he was a tactical mastermind; he was determined and rarely lost a battle. However, Napoleon also understood an uncomfortable fact of life that authors are somewhat reluctant to acknowledge.

Despite his supreme abilities, the great man knew that it wasn’t skill, training or intellect that swung battles in his favour. At times, Bonaparte struggled to isolate the reason he won or lost and eventually, by a process of elimination, he decided that chance was the key difference.

‘Give me lucky generals,’ said Napoleon. Although this is a catchy and pithy motto, this line of thought clashes horribly with the widely-held belief that we are masters of our own destiny.

The self-help books tell you that if you believe in yourself; work hard; network enthusiastically; never give up and explore every potential opportunity, success will inevitably follow. While there is plenty of merit in this advice, achieving your goals this way is far from guaranteed because – as Napoleon understood better than most – events and decisions totally beyond your control can scupper your aspirations.

Whichever word you prefer - luck, chance or fate – it’s important to stress that Napoleon did not believe that this single factor is all you need. To be successful, creative professionals also need to be skilled, focused and reliable. Fate will not miraculously deliver clients and fortune to your door, so you have to do some self-promotion. However, it’s equally important to acknowledge that circumstances outside your influence can have a dramatic impact on your future.

This can work in either direction, of course. An actor, for example, may have flown through the auditions and be within a hair’s breadth of securing the lead in a six-part TV drama. And then, without warning, the casting director is fired and the replacement chooses another lead. Conversely, a struggling freelance journalist might receive a phone call out of the blue from a long-forgotten university friend who has just been appointed editor of a Sunday supplement and urgently needs someone with his old buddy’s talents.

However you define luck, it is highly debatable whether it affects some people more than others. Napoleon wanted lucky generals but in the long run, all of his senior officers probably had their fare share of good and bad fortune. The same is true of poker players, sports people and creative freelances. What is less contentious, however, is encapsulated in a common aphorism: you make your own luck.

There is certainly some truth in this maxim and this is best illustrated by comparing a creative freelance to a fisherman. If the fisherman believed entirely in luck, he would stay in bed all day and wait for a monster salmon to fall from the sky. Of course this strategy would deliver nothing more than disappointment, so the fisherman will head for the river. He might choose a spot where he’d had success in the past. He might also have picked up tips from angling magazines about the best bait for a particular type of fish. He may have read a book about the influence of weather and time of day on piscine feeding habits. Armed with knowledge, experience and technique, the fisherman finally casts his line into the river and hopes for the best.

Compared to an opportunistic angler who casually drops his hook into a random section of the river, the methodical fisherman is clearly improving his chances of catching a fish. The opportunist might get lucky, but probability obviously favours those who put their efforts into planning, preparation and focus.

While there are many factors that we can’t control, we can take steps that are more likely to bring success than just sitting back and hoping for the best. There is no sure-fire way of maximising good luck but as any experienced freelance will testify, pivotal moments can occur when you put yourself in the right place at the right time and kick start positive momentum that can keep you going when you least expect it.

I’ll discuss this more in the next blog.

The previous blog entry listed nine basic principles and general rules of effective writing. If you can master punctuation, and erase text talk and the inappropriate use of capital letters, you will be taken much more seriously by your readers. And, if you meticulously proofread your work, read regularly and often, and practise, your writing will improve.

The next step is to work on your style. There are no hard and fast rules that apply to all types of writing. As highlighted in the previous blog, your first priority should be to write for your reader. Consequently, the words that you use will be determined by your audience. The following guidance primarily refers to a professional audience – via emails, websites and other promotional material – but it may also apply to other types of writing.

1. Forget (some of) what you learned at school

Some ‘rules’ about writing that you may have learned at school are just plain wrong. Contrary to what your teacher may have told you, you can start a sentence with ‘but’ or ‘and.’ And if you don’t believe this, read any newspaper or novel and you’ll see that professionals follow neither of these pieces of misguided advice.

2. Direct, precise and concise

One of the greatest misconceptions about good writing is that it involves complex sentences, impressive words and clever phrasing. This might be true for some forms of fiction, but it does not apply to promotional writing. You should avoid verbosity at all times, and leave the flowery language to the poets. Don’t try to amaze the reader with your vocabulary: get to the point; say what you really mean; and always look for opportunities to remove words.

3. Show, don’t tell

One of the guiding principles of story telling is, “show, don’t tell”. In other words, instead of telling the reader that you are ‘an experienced actor’, give a few details of the five years you appeared in a well-known TV series. This simple technique is used by scriptwriters, novelists and journalists to engage their audiences more closely with the story and characters. There will be times when you need to be brief and ‘tell’, but whenever you get the chance to describe yourself in more descriptive terms, try to ‘show’ the real you.

4. Avoid clichés and empty words

Everyone has their own definition but generally, a cliché is a phrase that is so overused – or misused – that it has lost its value. The English language is riddled with clichés and sometimes it is very difficult to avoid them. But if you are ever tempted to use phrases like: ‘I’m a glass half full type of person’, ‘life is what you make it’ or ‘live each day to the max’, try to think of a more original and descriptive phrase.

Likewise, some words are rather empty of meaning. The classic example is ‘nice’, but ‘cool’, ‘interesting’ and ‘exciting’ have become increasingly vacuous in recent years. The long-term answer to clichés and empty words is to improve your vocabulary by reading more and self-critiquing your writing.

Also, stay away from jargon that you think everyone knows the meaning of but, in fact, goes over your audience’s head.

5. Steer clear of superlatives

When describing yourself – in a profile, a website or a CV – you may be tempted to use a superlative or two in order to stress your abilities. Confidence is to be encouraged but if you state that you are ‘the best’, ‘the greatest’ or ‘the most experienced’ then your reader might demand some evidence of your bold claims. Such self-assessments are totally subjective, of course, and a much better strategy is to let the reader decide for themselves.

6. Leave humour to the comedians

Even professional writers find it hard to inject humour into their words. It takes years of practice to master the art, so it’s advisable to forget about trying to make your reader laugh. A badly-phrased witticism or quip will confuse or, at worst, offend the other person, and sarcasm is particularly hazardous. Stand-up comedians can pull it off because they have timing, tone of voice and facial expressions at their disposal. These elements are essential for making sarcasm work, but none are available to writers.

7. The power of threes

There are two easy and effective writing techniques based on the power of threes. First, aim to write introductory emails in three paragraphs. Open by stating who you are and why you are writing. The second paragraph should give more details of your proposal; and the third should suggest the next step. Second, try to keep lists to three components. For example, ‘Previous clients include the BBC, ITV and Channel 4.’ No one has explained why this works but listen to skilful orators – like President Obama – and you will notice that they often follow this principle to make their most powerful statements.

8. The danger of synonyms

You should always try to avoid repeating the same words, but this can be difficult when writing promotional material. Microsoft Word and other word processing software might suggest synonyms, but you need to be very careful when considering the options on offer. Some words might be deemed perfect substitutes by your software but under closer inspection they’re clearly not. For example, Microsoft Word suggested ‘suspicious’ as a synonym for ‘careful’ but it is evidently inappropriate in this context. Again, the key to developing your vocabulary – and understanding which words are real synonyms – is by reading regularly and often.

9. Resist the urge to emulate others

If you are struggling to find the right words, you might be tempted to check out other people’s websites to see how they’ve expressed themselves. You might even ‘borrow’ some of their phrases, give them an edit and then include them in your own promotional material. There is nothing wrong with taking inspiration from others, but remember to read critically. Look for clichés, empty words, jargon, and other symptoms of bad writing. Just because someone else has fallen into these traps doesn’t mean that you need to automatically follow.

The letters on your computer keyboard can be used in an almost infinite number of permutations and combinations to create just about anything. From the works of Shakespeare to a dense scientific tome; from a heart-warming love song to the instruction manual of a microwave, the same 26 letters of the English language form the building blocks of understanding.

There are, however, limits to the use of English. Even the most creative pieces of writing adhere to rules and principles. For example, although he was famous for inventing new words and twisting the meaning of others, Edward Lear’s ‘nonsense verse’ still makes sense because he also used capital letters, punctuation, and enough conventional verbs and nouns to communicate with his readers.

It is important to remember that the advice contained in these blog entries does not restrict what you can write about nor what point of view you can express. The purpose is to help you say what you really want to say while also demonstrating to the reader that you are an effective, expressive and reliable communicator.

This blog entry covers nine basic principles of good writing and the next entry will look at style. In both cases, the advice is intentionally brief and if you want more detailed guidance, there are plenty of books and websites that explain grammar and style in much greater depth. Alternatively, you can sign up for FEU courses on writing, which will be coming up in the next couple of months.

1. Write for your reader

It is absolutely fundamental that your words, and the overall meaning of your writing, are understood by your reader. This means that you should always use the appropriate language and write about ideas and concepts your reader will easily comprehend. Do not, for example, use terminology that is specific to your profession or trade in emails to a general readership. Your primary mission when writing is to engage your reader so that they want to continue reading.

2. Learn how to punctuate

Thanks largely to text messaging, Facebook and Twitter, punctuation is often deemed to be optional. While it’s true that full stops and commas are not that important in a short, personal message, they are essential in longer, more formal communications because they divide your message into intelligible portions. Long, rambling sentences are boring to read and can be confusing, so break them up into shorter, punchier phrases using commas and full stops.

The misuse of apostrophes is extremely widespread and yet the rules are very simple: you should only use an apostrophe in two circumstances: possession (‘Number 10 is David’s house’) and contraction (‘David is at home’ becomes ‘David’s at home.’) If you are ever tempted to use an apostrophe for a simple plural, don’t.

So long as you use commas, full stops and apostrophes effectively, you can pretty much forget about other punctuation for the vast majority of your writing. Semi-colons and colons are appropriate in very few instances (and people often use them wrongly) so it’s best to avoid them completely. And don’t add exclamation marks to emphasise a point. If you choose the right words, they will speak for themselves.

3. Don’t overuse capital letters

Sometimes people use capital letters because they want to stress the importance of a particular word, such as ‘Police’ or ‘Hospital.’ But the only words that should have capital letters are: at the beginning of a sentence; names (David, England, Downing Street, Thursday, September, etc); titles (Mr, Ms, Doctor, etc); and abbreviations (FIFA, BBC, UN, etc.)

4. Avoid txt spk

If you use text messaging regularly, you might be tempted to employ the same conventions in more formal writing. Your reader might forgive small lapses in stylistic judgement, but some will begin to doubt your professionalism if you insist on using text speak. Do not, for example, use lower case ‘i’ or any of the various abbreviations (such as LOL, OMG, etc) when writing to work contacts. Also make sure you start and end emails appropriately: ‘Dear David’ is far preferable to ‘Yo!’, and ‘best wishes’ is much better than ‘TTYL.’

5. Be careful with homophones

The English language has numerous words that sound the same but have totally different meanings. The most commonly cited homophones are there/their, but we also have: bear/bare; deer/dear; tail/tale; who’s/whose; compliment/complement, discrete/discreet, and many more. So long as you remind yourself to be vigilant, you will spot most homophones. Remember, the spellchecker will not pick them up.

6. Check names and places

Spellcheckers are essential for removing errors from your writing but they are not much help with names of people and places. This is particularly true of foreign names, so you need to consciously focus to make sure they are correct. Some names are effectively homophones and their owners can become agitated if you choose the wrong one. Examples include: Davis/Davies; Stephen/Steven, and Clare/Claire. Likewise, some first names have female and male versions - for example, Frances/Francis, and Lesley/Leslie.

7. Proof read meticulously

Before you send your writing to the recipient, carefully read your words from start to finish. It can be difficult to proof your own words so, if something is important, try to get someone else to have a look at it with a fresh eye or give yourself a break and come back to it when you’re more detached.

8. Read every day

Just like a musician who listens to other people’s music and a sportsperson who watches others playing sport, writers need to habitually consume words. In doing so, you will see how other people construct sentences; your vocabulary will improve; and you will pick up new techniques. Conversely, if you read critically, you will begin to spot bad writing and learn how to avoid making the same mistakes.

9. Dealing with writer’s block

There are times when even the best writers are lost for words, so don’t feel like a failure if you suffer from bouts of writer’s block. One approach is to have a break and return to your keyboard with a clear head. But this is not always possible, particularly if you have a tight deadline. Alternatively, try to forget about constructing perfect sentences and just write in very basic phrases or make lists of bullet points. In this way you will be making some progress and you will often find that the inspiration returns in its own time.

Creative people have every reason to object if anyone tries to impose restrictions on what they can and cannot say, write, read, sing or play. Freedom of expression is a fundamental pillar of a creative person’s life, but whatever your specialism, there are boundaries.

Musicians, for example, tune their instruments and play the right notes. Actors follow the director’s instructions and stick to the script. And, by the same token, writers must use language correctly.

These days, with the advent of the internet, email, social media and text messaging, pretty much everyone is a writer. Even if you don’t use the written word to directly earn your income, we all need to communicate effectively with our keyboards.

Whatever you write – from a simple email, to a LinkedIn profile or the ‘about’ section of your website – people will assess you on your ability with words. If you cannot describe yourself or your services accurately and meaningfully, then you could lose out on work opportunities.

The poor use of words is evident wherever you look: from corporate websites riddled with management-speak; to long-winded letters from your bank. Even seemingly-small errors – like superfluous or missing apostrophes – can make all the difference to how other people perceive you.

If you feel that your writing could improve, then you are not alone, and it is almost certainly not your fault. It is an unfortunate fact that for the last twenty years or so, teachers in the UK have been instructed to not penalise students for making grammatical, spelling and punctuation mistakes.

In placing creative expression above all other considerations, this educational philosophy certainly has some merit but it has undoubtedly contributed to Britain being placed a dismal twenty-first out of 24 developed countries in a league table of literacy (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-24433320)

Bad habits are hard to shake off, and although your friends will not judge you on your errors, employers, potential clients and people you might meet on social media may not be so forgiving. While creativity should be encouraged, it does not have to be at the expense of accuracy or, indeed, intelligibility.

Being able to write clearly and persuasively is good for business. And although you may struggle to find the right words and express yourself as you would like, if you follow the principles outlined in the next two blog entries, your writing will improve dramatically.

There was a time when virtually everyone believed the earth was flat. But this unanimity did not mean that it was. The same principle applies to the idea that marketing yourself through social media and other on-line means somehow replaces ‘old school’ methods. Many people believe this to be self-evident but it’s not.

As suggested in the first blog entry, email might appear to be the best way to make initial contact with a potential client but it has severe limitations, not least because emails from unknown people are very easy to ignore. A telephone call, however, is much more direct. What’s more, a phone conversation is far more dynamic, interactive, and natural than the written word.

Another reason why people shy away from the phone is habit. As we spend more time online, we inevitably spend less in the physical world and, as a result, we forget how to interact in ways that nature intended. This is particularly true for those who were born in the last three decades. Dubbed ‘Generation Y’ by sociologists, members of this demographic have never known a life without mobile phones, email, the web and, more recently, social media.

For Generation Y, these manifestations of technology are normal and, by extension, anything that harks back to an earlier era is inferior. Social media is the classic example. It is claimed that Facebook, for example, has revolutionised human contact. While it is true that people all over the world can connect in ways that were unimaginable even twenty years ago, surveys have shown that young people who are most immersed in the virtual world are the least confident with real-life interactions. Social media is, arguably and ironically, actually anti-social.

As a university teacher of journalism, this has become increasingly apparent to me over recent years. A decade ago, a few students would be a little nervous about doing a vox pop or a phone interview, but most would be excited by such a mission. With each successive cohort, however, comes increasing trepidation about connecting with real human beings. ‘Can’t I just send him an email?’ is a regular request, and last year, for the first time ever, I had to coach students on how to introduce themselves to a stranger.

And, it’s not just young adults who suffer from ‘stage fright’ when faced with an unknown person, either on the phone or in person. The prospect of opening a conversation; being stuck for words; embarrassing yourself by saying the wrong things; and, of course, the fear of being ignored and rejected, fills many people with dread. And so they avoid it.

Avoidance is a rational response to fear but the rewards for learning to interact with human beings - outside of the virtual world - are enormous. Remember the maxim: humans buy from humans, and the closest, most fulfilling and ultimately, the most lucrative professional relationships can only be built through real-life connections.

Like anything else, making phone calls to people you don’t know becomes much easier the more you practice. The best starting point is to spend a few minutes with a pen and paper and write a script. This might seem excessive for such a brief, simple and seemingly-natural exchange but it works beautifully, and ensures that you don’t talk nonsense and waste a golden opportunity.

If, for example, you are a freelance journalist and you’ve had no luck pitching ideas to editors via email, try the following. This script applies if you are trying to sell and article, and you can adjust it if you are an actor, singer, musician or any other creative profession.

Before you make the call, do your homework. Check that you are phoning the person who can commission articles, and make sure you understand what type of articles appear in the publication. You also need to write the substance of your pitch (a brief description of the article, its suggested length, etc.) in advance because you will need to refer to it later.

Then read your script out loud a few times to yourself and try to anticipate and react naturally to the possible responses. When you feel ready, take a few deep breaths, punch in the numbers and smile broadly as the phone rings (it sounds crazy but if you force a smile, your voice will be more upbeat). Remind yourself to speak slowly and clearly…

Editor – Hello?

Journalist – Hi, John. My name is Gary Merrill and I am a freelance journalist …

At this point, pause ever so slightly, less than a second. This gives you an early opportunity to gauge the person’s mood. He might say ‘Hi Gary’ in which case the door to conversation is opened. He may sigh, perhaps indicating a busy day, or he might say ‘Can I stop you there?’ and then explain that he is not commissioning any work at the moment. Assuming he is neutral or better, quickly move into the main part of your call.

Journalist - I wonder if I could pitch an idea for an article to you…

Be careful with your voice tone not to say this line as a question: if your intonation rises at the end, you give the editor an easy opportunity to say a flat ‘no.’ Insert another slight pause for the same reason as before.

The editor will often say ‘yes, but could you email it to me?’ Advocates of new methods of marketing might claim that such a response confirms the power of email, but if you precede an email with a phone call, your case is far stronger.

If the editor agrees to hear your verbal pitch, refer to your prepared overview of the article. At the end, pause again, a little longer this time. You should always give the other person opportunities to give their views but you also need to ‘control’ the flow of the conversation so that it meets your objective, which is, of course, to get commissioned.

If the editor suggests emailing, check his address, tell him that you will send it straightaway and thank him for his time. The editor will remember your name and will be far more likely to read about your idea. And in less than five minutes, you have successfully positioned yourself as a confident, courteous and reliable professional.

Yes, there will be times when the person on the receiving end of your call sighs loudly as soon as you speak. Sometimes, he might even cut you off and hang up. But don’t let such reactions dent your confidence. Everyone has bad days and people who commission work have more than most. One of the reasons is that they are so inundated with unsolicited emails that they have no time to do their more important tasks.

Despite the risks to your ego of negative responses, making the initial contact with a prospective client by phone is far more likely to result in success than an email. Apart from the obvious improvement in speed, you have instantly placed yourself apart from the countless other freelances who subscribe to the ‘copy-paste-send’ school of marketing. By using your voice and listening to the editor’s replies, you are communicating as nature intended, and you have taken the first steps toward rediscovering the lost art of being human.